I wrote this article about a week ago at the request of one of my best friends ;),
TC@Urbanflavorz.com. He writes bi-weekly articles for Urbanflavorz.com and sends them out on Tuesdays as a part of a listserv. I usually edit his articles before he sends them out, and we talk about the ones that I like the most. We chatted it up quite a bit about his article (Are Men the New Women) and he, well how should I put this....POLITELY FORCED me to write an opposing article. I told him we gonna be like Donny Hathaway and Roberta Flack with this writing thing ha! I hope you enjoy it!
TC TuesdaysThe mailbag from the "Are Men the New Women" was very interesting and I got even MORE feedback after it was sent out to the public. I evengot into a long discussion with a very intelligent redbone about the situation, and she came up with her own article. I thought it was great, so I'm going to share it with you, ya'll tell me what you think!!tc@urbanflavorz.com_______________________Are Women the new Men?
ByFoxxyRedd
Maybe we are. But can you really blame us? There are a lot of thingsthat women have to do now days to make up for the onslaught of ElDebarge type dudes out here. We all like a man who is in touch withhis feminine side, but I am not sharing my Chanel lip gloss. Besidesthe obvious, I think the big problem is that chivalry is dead. In factI think chivalry was murdered, it was probably Bin Ladin. Althoughmen may be the reason why so many women have taken on a moredominating role, I still feel that a woman should be a woman and a manshould be a man. Women have got to tone it down and men have to "manup". Here are a few areas in which I think that women have taken moredominating roles, roles that we need to hand right back over to the men.
The Club: I need someone to tell me when exactly it became hot fortwo supposedly heterosexual women to grind on each other in the cluband tongue kiss in the bathroom. There is a perfectly good manstanding there holding up the wall, and you want to grind on the firstwoman you see. Sister, black women what are you doing. This used to besomething we would laugh at white girls for doing on Girls Gone Wild,now if you watch a show like that you will see some Tamika's andTawana's up there licking each others…let me move on.
The Date: Men, this is your fault. I frequent a fairly popularmessage board. Whenever the question of paying for a date, buyingdrinks, who is responsible for what comes up, all the Ralphs comesliding out of the woodwork in their fly away pants and penny loaferstalking about what they aren't going to pay for and who is worthy totouch their S-curls. Back in the day when you went out with a guythey would tell you to take a dime with you in case you needed to callhome. Now if a guy asked you out you may have to take your visa, debitcard, cash, and a traveler's check. Because depending on the mood ofthe night, Ralph may decide that he left his wallet in the car. Ibelieve that if you ask me out, you pay. If I ask you out, I'll pay.I will say that most of the dates I've gone on the guy has paid evenwhen I offered. A few I have had to insist on paying if I reallywanted to, so you aren't all bad. But who wants to go through all ofthat when you can just hang out with your buddies and not worry aboutplaying ping pong with the check!
Relationships: Women have begun to be the aggressors inrelationships. We are the ones doing the calling, the planning andthe nurturing. I believe it's a situation where men feel like theydon't have to because we are. I swear, if I had listened to mygrandmother more at an early age, I would have saved myself a lot ofheart ache. Men don't want to be chased. They enjoy a challenge.It's like how a cat will play around with a mouse before he actuallyeats it. I'm not saying sit back and wait, but don't be a bugaboo.Show interest; make your intentions clear by all means. But you don'thave to call a man at 8:00 am everyday to say good morning and youjust met him last week. If you text him, wait until he replies beforeyou text again. If he has never responded to a text, please stoptexting. If every time you call him he is "busy", take the hint andmove on. There is not that much busy in the world that bamma is notthat important, trust me. Men make time for whom and what they wantto make time for.Post Break-up Emotional State: Okay I will be the first to say, thereare some sensitive fake bipolar men out here. I'm talking aboutacademy award winning performances. Just upset for no reason abouteverything. When did men start handling themselves in this manner? I log on to my instant messengers and I see men with taglines like "I'm going to kill myself by noon" or " I came to work with different color socks on now my life is over please kill me". You call their voice mail and there is Phyllis Hyman playing, I mean its getting tobe out of hand! If there is one area that is especially for women itsbeing dramatic please let us handle that ugh. Anyway, I don't thinkthe solution for a broken heart is to become like men or to hate themeither. Don't let Beyonce fool you into thinking that if you put youron your freakum girl dress everything will be better in the morning.Becoming hardened and bitter towards all men doesn't solve your issue.You love men, I love men, and most of us love men. Ciara hasn't beenin enough relationships to write songs like "Like a Boy" You noticedshe said boy right? Right. "Irreplaceable" has gotten some headstwisted even mine, until you start missing that fool. Going out andhooking up with his boy doesn't work, and it's actually quite disgusting. I have a lot of male friends who have laughed at women who have done that. Neither does going out and showing him how much of a slut you have become since the break up. Let's find a happy medium here. Go out with your girls, have fun, look stunning, if you see him keep it cordial and keep it moving. And there you have it. Then when you get home, flick off and cry like Tre did in "Boyz in the Hood"lol. All things get better with time. When you meet the next guy,thank your ex for setting you free. If he hadn't, you wouldn't have met your "McDreamy"
The Body: Let me tell you about the most disturbing thing I've everseen. On Discovery Health channel there was segment on female bodybuilders. I really tried hard to see that these were indeed females.Their voices even sounded like semi-men. They put on makeup and did their hair and had on nice clothes but still looked like transvestites. Ladies, there is nothing sexy or sensual about afemale with muscles coming out of her neck. I'm all for women being toned and in shape, but there are certain routines that we just cannot do. Stay out of the "big dude" side of the gym. Why would a woman need to bench press 400lbs, unless you are sleeping with Ruben Stoddard?
The Infamous Independent Woman: This has to be the most feared type of woman on earth. Again, dazed and confused by Beyonce and`nem lol. I think that some of us have taken the whole independent attitude to a new plateau. Sure there are lots of things we can do that we don'tneed men for. Actually with sperm banks we don't need them at all.But we do "need" them…you feel me? There are things that I can dothat I just don't want to do. If a man insists on doing things, I'm going to let him do it. Please let a man be a man. If he gets out pumping your gas, don't jump out before him screaming about you being able to do it yourself. The moment you have a fight you are going to say "and just like I have to pump my own gas you aint shit!" I'mgoing to tell on myself with this one because men I've dealt with or currently deal with may read this, but I fake a lot. I will get dumbas hell when it comes to things that I know they will do. Suddenly things will be too high to reach, or too heavy to carry. Just because you can cook like Martha Stewart doesn't mean you can't let a man whowants to do something nice for you hook up a meal or two. I had towork on this one myself and I've been asked to leave many a kitchen. But seriously, if a man wants to do nice things for you to show you that he cares; you aren't sacrificing your independence by allowing him to. Oh and let me leave you with this one: don't talk to a man like a child, he has a mother. If you feel he hasn't grown up quite yet send him back to his mother so she can finish.
