I had the PURSE Nightmare last night....

Someone hold me....

I was sitting in what appeared to be the lobby of a huge club. I was dressed in all black, which is typically how a roll. I was holding a purse but I couldn’t tell what kind it was. I do know that it had feathers on it. I’m assuming that is a combination of things I saw on the SATC movie; you know Carrie had a damned bird on her head. Anyway, a couple walked past me. The woman was a tall slim blonde with a big red flower in her hair, looking fresh off of Dancing with the Stars. The gentleman was a tall brown skinned man with salt and pepper gray hair. They looked sort of mix matched yet equally yoked in the height and build department. When he walked past me he said, “Do you like her purse”. She replied that it was okay. He then goes on to say “I’ll buy you one like that except it will be real”.

*Insert VERY long pause*.

So all of a sudden there was a gay Latino man next to me who popped up saying “I know you not going to let them talk about your purse like that”. So I rolled my eyes and leaned forward and said “Umm excuse me this purse is REAL…” *flips hair*. The gentleman looked at the lady and she said. “Where did you get it from?”

*Insert another VERY long pause*

I had no idea where I had purchased this feathery disaster. Right there with the blonde, the brownie and the Latino I sat there with the inability to properly formulate a complete and concise response and I am a speech-language pathologist damnit! After the uncomfortable silence I said, “It was a gift”. (Um whatever anyone who would buy me that is not a friend). So the couple laughed at me and the Latino guy looked disappointed. The blonde said, “Your bag doesn’t have the PPO tags on it”.

Readers, I have no idea what a PPO tag is but when I looked down at my bag it had a lot of price tags on it. Now you know that is a big no no with purses.

How many of you have gone to a store and had to dig down in the pockets of a bag to get the price tag? If the price tag is hanging on the bag with plastic well…you know. I remember looking at all the LVs on EBay and noticing price tags hanging on them. I actually got one, clearly before I was as well versed as I am. I showed it to DenyseG and she stamped it RETURN TO SENDER and saved my purse life. That was the start of a beautiful friendship!

Anyway, that was my nightmare; a bad purse (bad meaning bad not bad meaning good!), a snooty blonde with a red flower in her hair, a slim brownie and a gay Latino fan. I woke up and wanted to run through a brick wall at full speed. It must have been the tequila and jerk chicken wings last night. I would have rather dreamed that George Bush was re-elected for an unprecedented 3rd term. YOUCH!