Alicia Keys was supposed to host the night’s party but due to a scheduling conflict, she was unable to attend. The party was in celebration of the birthday of clothing designer Kenny Flannagan (KAS Collection)News of her inability to attend did not sway the masses from coming out. Now, since I got wind of the fact that she wasn’t going to attend, I decided to save my dress for another day. I guess I was the only one thinking that way because folks were definitely dressed to impress.
Every time I go out, (more frequently in the summer) I tell myself the same lies: “I’m not going to drink that much”; “I’m not going to stay that long”;” I’m not going to close the club down”. One day I’m going to turn these lies to truths. Now I did keep one promise to myself to stay away from that Nuvo nonsense.
That is the worst concoction of malt beverage ever stirred and poured into a bottle, albeit a nice bottle. Last Saturday morning I spent a few hours rolling around in my bed from that mess. I could write on and on about this night, but I figured I’d do what I do you all a favor and summarize with highlights of the nights events. My life has become so cluttered that before I know it I could be typing about the time I nearly fainted when I walked past a store in a mall dedicated to designer knock offs. I mean who would construct such nonsense and direct disrespect to all of the hard working souls who have dedicated their lives to making us look fly. Anyway… here goes:
1. The Olympic volley ball team hopefuls made an appearance. I have never seen so many tall women in my life and I’m 5’7.
2. Oily, muscular men standing at the top of stairwells dressed in Couture. It was like I died and went to NY Fashion week. But why did this broad start screaming when one of the guys moved. You don’t start screaming in a club full of black folks did she learn anything from Cedric the Entertainer? She could have very well started a stampede!
3. Men do still dance hard in the club. They also play too much.
4. I know I still got it, because I was followed around by someone’s great grandfather all night. If a picture surfaces, I was photoshopped.
5. Thirty minutes – Forty-Five minutes of Scot La Rock (Supascotty) DJing put folks into a memorizing zone that rivals the strongest drink or highest potency ...well you know.
6. Oh okay, so folks look at me sideways when I want them to play the Cupid Shuffle in the club, but its okay for the IDC mafia to “kick push”? There is some kind of redbone persecution going on. I want to be able to do my dance, I have worked on it feverishly in my living room. I got all kinds of lil twists and remixes to it, and its one hell of a thigh work out.
7. Apparently Baby Phat, Rocawear and House of Dereon will never go out of style, which means I will forever be faint of heart. I think I start twitching when I see a bedazzled purse with a cat on it. I love beagles but I be damned if I wear something with a big ass silhouette of Dallas on it. Kimora Lee has the most extensive collection of Louis Vuitton bags known to man; do you think she is wearing that mess she selling to you? I’ll wait.
8.The talented tenth (the black intellectual and pseudo intellectuals) of DC party goers lost it; This is what I like to call those of “us” that are well educated, professional, clean cut and well put together who nod our heads to the beat and sip our drinks with out pinky fingers up. This includes men. Well something happened to the Talented Tenth that took them from being too cute to move to 1999 Hip Hop and/or Go-Go room at DC Live. Back when you sweated out your roller set wrap so bad that someone could turn you upside down and mop the floor. Hair weaves end up tangled up like bird nests. Dudes used to come in with button ups on and leave wearing only their wife beaters, I know you remember. It is possible for someone with a Master’s Degree from Howard University to know all the words with corresponding hand animation to Lil Wayne’s Millionaire Remix featuring Jay Z. That’s all I’m saying. (If you have not read The Talented Tenth by WEB Dubois, please adjust your life accordingly).
9. Not too many men can pull off holding a big pink bottle of pseudo-malt champagne concoction all night, that just so happened to match their shirt.
10. Someone asked me if you had to be fine to be a part of The Dream Team’s security crew. I replied yes.
I think that’s enough for you to get the gist of what went down last Friday. I’m so glad this spot re-opened and I’m sure the mailman is too. They better get ready because once the temperature drops I begin my hibernation until early spring. For now, I’m a regular. Come have a drink with me, on you.
Goodnight.
3 comments:
I had to stop at hair weaves looking like birds nest....bwhahahaha
Oh and you will have to skip hibernation this winter....just for little ol' me. :) lol
I spelled something wrong on my first try :-|
but that mess in the PANK bottle is worse than terrible weaves.
However, it is NOT worse than fake bags.
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