The Voter Registration Card is the New Black Card

We are embarking upon one of the most important elections of the 21st century. For African Americans, Black Americans, Africans In America, Blacks, or whatever you wish to be called, we may witness one of our own taking the reigns as commander in chief. Naysayers will see that the quintessential black family unit can exist with Barack, Michelle and the girls. We may have a Vice President who can make decisions and run our country just as well as the president. We may have the pleasure of listening to a president who can hold a fluent conversation void of vocal fillers, catachresis, and improper pragmatic language. Maybe the world won’t laugh at us anymore, or atleast not as hard. At this point, even if Obama does not follow through with what he has promised, he will take us further than Dubya. My father told me in 2004 that “they are going to re-elect this idiot”. I hate when he is right.

Despite the fact that many have died and suffered and worked hard for us to vote, there are approximately 8 million unregistered black voters. Read that sentence one more time. Go back to it like Sarah Palin did during her much scripted debate with Joe “Obiden”.

I keep telling folks that I’m taking Election Day off. I want to make sure anyone that needs a ride to the polls gets one. But maybe I should take the day after off. It could go either way. I get sick thinking that I could wake up on November 5th to four years of McCain-Palin. I’ll tell you if that were to happen I will be the most miserable bag toting female dog you will meet. I will not speak to anyone that doesn’t have a voter registration card.


The voter registration card has taken on a whole new meaning. It holds more street credibility than any platinum or black card. On Election Day you should be able to use your voter registration card for purchases. You should be able to use it for back stage access to the Janet Jackson concert if she doesn’t call in sick. You should be able to get free manicures and pedicures and car washes. There is a different type of coolness associated with taking advantage of the right to vote. Registered Voter in the building, swagger on a hundred, thousand 700 billion.


I say we all line up and smack the folks that don’t think its that important to vote. Let's treat them like they buy or sell fake purses. Sure we have the Electoral College. Now personally I think that is an archaic system used when the majority of Americans were unable to make a decision regarding presidency. Get rid of it. Let’s get this thing fair and square and not have it taken away, shout out to my man Big Al Gore. “We” use this as an excuse to say voting doesn’t matter. Well, you don’t matter if you can vote and don’t. Y’all can vote for the next American Idol but not the next Commander in Chief. Shame on you if you don’t vote.


I want all the club promoters to deny access for the next 4 years to anyone who doesn’t have a voter registration card. Reinstitute segregation, voters vs. non-voters. Make them sit at the back of the Metro. Carry-outs should give them the real hard chicken wings with no meat on them, and no mambo sauce. Employers should reduce their lunch breaks by 15 minutes per half hour. Make them pay a toll for crossing the street. Tie them to a chair and make them listen to hours of non-stop Bill O’Reilly.

Seriously, I cannot stress enough the need for all of us to do our part. If you have paid attention to anything going on in the last few months, you will know the importance of casting that ballot. This is SPARTA! We have a war going on right here and our survival is at stake. (I almost quoted Mob Deep but I want to stay serious lol). The middle class is lined up with guns pointed at us. Yes it’s that crucial, have you peeked into your 401K recently? I see nothing but red like someone got killed in there!



I for one will sleep better at night with a presidential regime that doesn’t consist of someone who refers to Raul and Fidel Castro as “The Castro Brothers”, or gives shout outs to 3rd graders who should be sleeping during a debate, or that can’t name one supreme court decision that she doesn’t agree with. Or one PERIOD. I want a president who can remember his own stance and quotes and doesn’t run with the foxes and hunt with the hounds (Ask your grandma what that means). P.O.W. is the new Maverick.

Ladies and Gentlemen, get your Voter Registration card, and use it. Sure a black card can buy you that hotness but that VR card will buy you freedom.



*Pulling down my Barack Star Fitted*