Black Friday 2008: How to Survive in the Wild

In less than 48 hours, the United States will, for lack of a better phrase lose its entire mind. Every retail store from Best buy to Big Lots will open at 5 a.m. boasting of the best deals and sales. Retailers will convince you that if you don’t shop now you may never see this same deal for the rest of your life, well maybe not until the next Black Friday. There are however some rules, regulations and tricks to the trade.
I traditionally canvas the Black Friday terrain looking for weak sellers willing to get up off of flat screens and other items for next to nothing. I have perfected the art of Black Friday shopping and simultaneously unmasked its deepest and darkest secrets.

1. Parking: The worst part of Black Friday is the parking. The problem is that everyone is trying to get to the front of the store. It’s not happening. Park in the first available spot you see and walk. You probably need to walk after that huge thanksgiving meal right? By the time you walk you will have gotten into the store faster than the person driving around for 30 minutes looking for “the good spot”. Now fighting over a parking spot can make for an entertaining spectacle of which I am not opposed to watching!

2. Nothing is too good to be true: Follow me as I explain this better. There is a Microwave in Target for $19.99 until 11 a.m. You feel that this price is probably not accurate and you leave the microwave there. Cindy Lou Hu comes up behind you and takes the last $19.99 GE Microwave. If you even think the price is accurate guard the item with your life.



3. Beware of regular priced items: Often times regular priced items are mixed, stirred, chopped and screwed into the piles of sale items. This results in cash register shock: when you get to the register and you have calculated items in your head, yet the total is about $50 bucks higher? Check your tags!

4. Resist useless impulses: DVDs are great and I love watching movies,but by no means do I need 6 copies of the movie CLUE just because they are $.99 cents. My cousin got into it with a lady one year who did this. She just ran in and grabbed a handful of the DVDs and put them in her cart. Most were of the same movie. After a small scuffle she relinquished some of the items.

5. The stores are not safe for children. I am usually sensitive to people with children but on this particular day no way. Let them stay at home one of the relatives that are too full from the day before to move. Last year I saw a couple whispering and sneaking toys into the cart while the kids were there running in and out of the aisles getting in MY way. You guys can take turn watching the kids. Let them sleep in and watch cartoons its murder on a child to be out shopping at 6:00 am.



6. Map out your territory: The sale paper comes in on Wednesday and Thursday morning. Go through it and map out what you need or want and from which stores. Don’t go blind shopping; you will end up with a trunk full of nonsense. People will hate your gifts. Do you really need a super sized remote control with extra large buttons? So what its $1.99. How many red sweaters do you currently own? Four or five? You don’t need three more. Try to focus on things that are less attainable or affordable outside of the sale period.

7. The best deals are going to be on electronics. Most of the items you see will be on sale until they get rid of it, but electronics are rare and used to draw you into the store. TV’s, DVD players, Blue Ray players, computers etc. Come strapped. No seriously, you have to be prepared for battle. I do not recommend going alone for electronics shopping. Take a wing man. Two would be even better. You need to surround the perimeter of the TV and thwart off the enemy forces. Some folks will use their kids to distract you. If you see a child with his hand on a box containing a 42” T.V., who appears to be looking around for his or her parent you can do one or two things. You can tell them that their mother is looking for them in the toy section, or firmly tell the kid to move or you will murder Santa.

8. For the most part, things that are on sale on Friday are pretty much on sale now. Friday they will get marked down more, but the pickings are slim. If you are a size that is not common or hard to find and what you want is on sale now in your size don’t wait! When I go “sweater shopping” which is a task because I only like thin sweaters, all that is left on Black Friday is small and extra small. There will be 800 sweaters in that size on the rack. Maybe I can sew two of them together or something.



9. Check stores for non-traditional items. For instance, last year Home Depot was selling a flat screen TV for $400. When is the last time anyone has bought a TV from Home Depot? Well it worked! You got your T.V. and you also got a backhoe, an electric hedge trimmer and a bag of potting soil, none of which were on sale. Stores that specialize in electronics may have a bigger selection but not necessarily the best deal.

10. Don’t forget the ONLINE SHOPPING EXPERIENCE! Hey, you can get some of the same deals if not better right from the comfort of your own home. Some of my friends and I have already decided that we will be doing this. Now I may get up early, but I won’t be out of my slippers. All I need is a cup of French Vanilla Café’, a leftover ham biscuit and my laptop. As a matter of fact fill your shopping carts up the night before and see what the discounts look like at 6:00 A.M. Online shopping may even help you focus and budget more. It may keep you for buying that stupid dancing Santa Claus.



11. Keep your Money and your Purchases safe: There will probably be just as many people out there looking forward to you “slippin” as there are shoppers. I know this is going to be inconvenient, but if you purchase anything of value, do not leave it in the car. Take it home or to grandma’s house, anywhere but the car. If you have a newer car without a key hole on the trunk you should be okay. If you are carrying a purse keep it tight to your body or keep your money in your pockets! I have seen folk so distracted by a sale item on a high shelf that they leave their purse in their basket unattended and wide open. Carry check cards instead of cash, don’t end up shaking a bell outside for donations like Salvation Army Santa!

Everyone please be safe and enjoy yourself out there amongst the masses on Black Friday. Be smart, have fun and stay strapped. It will be interesting to see how this Black Friday pans out in comparison to others with this recession we have going on. I wonder if the gas prices going down were a way to have us spend more money in the stores. It’s working for me so far!


BagLady

What's HOT and What's NOT!

Before I begin, I would like to let you all know that I have a security detail hired called "THE OBAMA" after deciding to do this blog. Feelings will be hurt and toes will be stepped on. The views expressed in this blog are that of BagLady and her cohorts alone. You can agree, or not agree, but I’m probably right. I’m trying to help you out, just consider this an intervention.

There is no greater place to live or party than in the DC area. We visit other places but home is home. Although I love it, there are some things that just are not quite right. I’m sure it happens else where but what does the saying say “Clean up home first”. Let’s get out some mops and buckets and determine what’s hot and what’s not.

Many times I elicit help from my inner sanctum. They consist of devout readers and close friends who give me tips and ideas for the blog. One in particular co-wrote this blog with me. In an effort to protect the innocent, I will not reveal this persons gender or identity. “For all intensive purposes” (I hate when people say that) let’s just call my cowriter THE ORACLE.

And here we go…

1. Blackberry,iPhone, G1 etc. are HOT! The world is at your fingertips and you look cool touching it. Send me your blackberry messenger pin immediately! I live for new applications, themes, wallpaper and shortcuts. Sidekicks are not. It’s time to grow up, so I was told a few months ago. No more flipping your phone up like Lamborghini doors.

2. Dressing for the weather and still being sexy is HOT. Running to the club in skimpy clothes with no coat on, is NOT. Ladies please listen to me: You CAN dress warm and sexy at the same time. Your little black dress might turn heads, but you’ll also turn heads when you are coughing and snotting at the bar because you have pneumonia. I don’t care how short your skirt is, sneezing isn’t appealing. That is a long walk down 14th street in 32 degree weather with heels on and your buzz gone. Coat check is $3.

3. Unsanctioned Designer Apparel is the negative inverse square root of not hot. For example, I'm sure Gucci didn't make pull over hooded fleeces in a 3x. Your G's are backwards sir. This reminds me of when my cousin tried to give me a gift. It was in the trunk of his car and we were outside the church. He opens the trunk and says, which bag do u want?” I chose the Gucci wrapped in a burlap sack and in an unmarked grocery bag with disgust. It didn't look like anything ever produced by the company blue and red? Oh okay. I gave it to one of my "special" clients. Don't judge me.

4. Suspect Club Picture Poses: Fellas, please remember to keep your heads at least 12 inches (1 foot) away from all other males who you are taking pictures with. Unless you are a male stripper , Miss Jaye, or John Legend, this is an automatic FAIL. I know you are taking a flick with your man 100 grand, but you two touching heads totally changes the dynamic of the photo. Ladies, you and your girl are facing, her boobs are overflowing from her shirt and your tongue is out like you are the long lost member of KISS. Your head is cocked to the side like a confused beagle. Your hips are pressed against each other. What would your mother think? I’m telling you, those Shy Magazine folks stay on it. Your pictures go up before you walk in the house that night. You know they will be there. The bible says “Be ye always prepared”. Remember that always. Some things you can get away with in the darkness but it all comes to light in the flash!

5. Men in tights, okay not really tights but in "overly metro sexual apparel". Look I don’t care how in touch with your feminine side and "secure" you are. Some things just aren't right. No it’s not okay to have pointed toed boots. No Lil Wayne did not make tight extra low rise jeans a fly thing to wear; trust me, NO one on the block should want swagger like that. No a floor length skirt is not okay; you are not Scottish nor are you ancient Roman Senator. Shout out to this guy at Pure this summer.

6. Scarves are HOT. Welcome to the scarf revolution. I'm loving it. All designs and prints. I even rock one on the side of a handpurse to spice things up. This reminds me of when Bandanas became the new thing. I hope it doesn't play itself out because it’s an awesome fall/winter concept. Ascots are NOT. There’s a fine line between looking like Common, or looking like Geoffrey the Butler from “The Fresh Prince.” Unless you are Mr. Furley, Benson, or Hugh Heffner, you really need to throw the ascots away and check your nearest Macy’s to step your scarf game up. (p.s., I’m not talking about those hoodrat Taliban looking scarves that the little dope boys around Simple City wear, I’m talking about actual SCARVES.)

7. Corn rows on men are NOT hot. I’ll give you braided up brothers until January 1 to find a barber and get that hair cut off. I would tell you to loc it up, but locs only have 6 months until they are OUT as well. Someone please pass this memo on to Allen Iverson, his corn rows have been the same length since 2000, and I’m concerned. CC Jim Jones on that memo too, and whoever cuts off his corn rows needs to have their floor disinfected afterwards. Looks like braided up steel wool.

8. Bangs are HOT-"she bags, she bangs". I cut mine in a couple weeks ago and I love them. It took me a long time and some encouragement from my personal cosmetologist for me to go through with it. I think it gives your face a sexier look, sort of seductive and mysterious. They also hide the fact that you need your eyebrows waxed! Don't cut them too short our you'll be forced to look like Dora the Explorer until they grow out

9. Champagne Nursing is NOT HOT. This is also known as walking around the club drinking out of a champagne bottle. Hello Nino Brown. No really what is the point? You are just showing everyone that you paid 600% more than normal for a bottle of Moet. And you look stupid. And furthermore how sexy do you think it looks turning a bottle all the way up to your mouth. Put that vision next to men pouring liquor down one another’s throat. Like my gay homie on the message board says “I’m gonna pull you out of my big gay bag!”

10. Moscato Wine is HOT: I was pressured into this entry as I poled my crew on this topic. My girl Dani put me on a year ago and I'm sold. Sweet and smooth, Moscato is a great alternative to your more common white wines. An old flame and I used to crucify bottles of this stuff. Spaghetti, garlic bread, salad, and a couple of bottles of Moscato. That will make you forget why you are mad fast, and make you an instant sinner.

*wipes forehead*

So much wrong in the community, and I'm sure you all can add more. Feel free to do so in the comments or on the re-added chat feature.

BagLady featuring The Oracle

Stunner SALE @ Bluefly.com!!!

If you're into sunglasses like I am then you'll be pleased as punch to know that Bluefly.com has THE-BEST-SALE-EVER on Designer Shades!

Valentino
Retail: $265.00
Bluefly: $159.00




Gucci
Retail: $275.00
Bluefly: $165.00






DIOR
Retail: $350.00
Bluefly: $210.00


http://www.bluefly.com/Designer-Sunglasses/_/N-fhe/list.fly

Tis' the Season to be Shopping!!

Shop Bop Sale: Ladies, it is NOT a Game!

I've been trying to get my composure since I got the email. ShopBop, one of my absolute favorite sites is having at 30 % off sale for all full priced items INCLUDING HANDBAGS. You do not want to see what my shopping cart is looking like right now. The sale is Today and Thursday only, the sale will end at 11:59pm EST on Thursday Nov 13th. Use coupon code: EARLYGIFT at the check out to apply it to your purchase.

Have fun and shoot me an email at baglady@holdmypurse.net to let me know what you found!

2009 Presidential Inauguration FACTS!

YES WE CAN! YES WE DID!!

America came together and voted for the best candidate. On January 20, 2009, 1 day after the celebrated birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, citizens of the United States of America will usher in the next in line of America's Greatest Leaders. The theme of this Inauguraion is: THE BIRTH OF FREEDOM

There are a few websites with misleading and false information out there about the Inauguration events. If you are like me you have family and friends putting in bids to sleep in some corner of your floor in order to be around for the big day, and they want to know the facts. I researched a bit and found this site Official Inauguration Site that is the official site for all information with regards to events, balls, parades, and other activities. Here are some important exerpts.

1. Tickets to the 56th Inaugural Ceremonies will be provided free of charge and distributed through Members of the 111th Congress. The Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies does not provide tickets to the public. Members of the public interested in attending the Inaugural Ceremonies should contact their Member of Congress or U.S. Senators to request tickets.
The public should also be aware that no website or other ticket outlet actually has inaugural swearing-in tickets to sell, regardless of what they may claim. Tickets will not be distributed to Congressional offices until the week before the inauguration and will require in-person pick-up.

2. NO TICKETS ARE REQUIRED FOR THE INAUGURAL PARADE. Requests to participate in Inauguration Day events for marching bands, marching units, mounted units, and other performers are collected by the Armed Forces Inaugural Committee. Further information and an application to participate may be found at the Armed Forces Inaugural Committee.



3. President Harry Truman revived the official ball in 1949. Organizers for Dwight D. Eisenhower's 1953 Inaugural ball added a second event due to the great demand for tickets. Four years later, Eisenhower's second Inauguration featured four balls. Kennedy attended five in 1961. President Carter attempted to strip the balls of their glitz and glamour in 1977, calling them parties and charging no more than $25 each, but by the 2nd inaugural of President William Jefferson Clinton in 1997, the number of balls reached an all-time high of fourteen. George W. Bush's inaugural in 2001 saw the number of official balls decline to eight, and his 2nd inaugural in 2005 was celebrated with nine official balls.

There will be several inaugural type balls beggining January 15th 2009. One site has Tickets for the Primary Inaugural Ball are $2750.00. Now for all the brothers in the club making it rain and bragging about "trickable cash" this should be a drop in the bucket for you. As a matter of fact, buy me a ticket! Just be careful of where you buy your tickets. Dont throw away good purse money on a scam!

4. The Departure of the Outgoing President (YEAH!!!) In recent years, the newly installed President and Vice President have escorted their predecessors out of the Capitol after the swearing-in ceremony. The members of the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies gather on the stairs on the east front of the Capitol Building. The new Vice President escorts the outgoing Vice President and his spouse out of the Capitol through a military cordon. Then, the new President escorts the outgoing President and his spouse through the military cordon.
The new President and Vice President then return to the Capitol Building for the inaugural luncheon hosted by the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies.

5. You are not invited to the Inaugural Luncheon. Thanks

See you in January!

BL

I VOTED! Did you?

I cannot think of a better way to spend a first Tuesday in November morning in 2008 than standing in line in the cold for 3 hours and 20 minutes to vote for the a Highly Qualified, Innovative, Rational, Diplomatic, Educated, Sympathetic, Empathetic, Family Oriented, People Oriented, Prestigious, Esteemed, Eloquent, Steadfast, Unwavering candidate on the Presidential ballot. And yeah, as an added bonus he is black.



I have watched this election coverage for the past several months with great angst. I could have voted when the nominees were announced. John McCain does not represtent BagLady. And even though Sara Palin’s clothes may be fly and she keeps a dope upsweep do, she doesn’t either.

Barack and Joe represent the direction I would like to see this country go in. I want the troops to come home. I have two relatives who have done 3 tours in Iraq. I am tired of being taxed out the wazoo because I don’t make enough and still make too much. The Middle Class is America’s whipping boy.

Barack Obama becoming this country’s first Black President is not just a huge victory for black people. It is a huge victory for anyone outside of the norm. He will be proof positive that anyone can truly become the leader of the most powerful country in the world, flaws and all. Hilary Clinton put 18 million cracks in the ceiling and proved that women can hold our own; Barack Obama is going blow the ceiling up.

I don’t want to make this entry too long because you should be out voting if you haven’t, and if you have you should be glued to the TV like I am. But I will just throw out some random thoughts about this election, in no specific order, and with no specific point in mind.

• Choosing Sara “Moose is the other darkmeat” Palin as a running mate was not only stupid but a direct slap in the face to the intelligence of every woman in this country. If I were Hilary Clinton I would have had major words behind that. How dare anyone compare her to Big Hill.

• Joe the Plummer wouldn’t know what Socialism was if he pulled it out of a backed up drain.

• How cool is Joe Bidden? Not just because he’s calm and relaxed but he’s just about done it all, Obama couldn’t have picked a better wing man.

• I hope that Webster’s Dictionary buries the word Maverick forever.

• Three Words: SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

• What does Cindy McCain do while Michelle Obama is out speaking and actively campaigning for her husband with her kids in tow?

• If Elizabeth Hasselback (The View) keeps running her mouth and pissing off everyone who watches, hosts and guest stars on the View, she is going to have to ask the next president to borrow a couple secret service agents! Elizabeth, please.

Say what you want about the Clintons, but when they did come out, they came out swinging. When I heard Bill say “I’m gonna say all of the things that Obama can’t say right now” I braced myself. I still love Bill. He was the first president I voted for.

One name: Keith Olberman


And now, back to MSNBC.


Bag Lady

I VOTED!